Monday, July 30, 2007

Do I look suspicious?

Please remind me never to fly with El Al again. After being up all night I arrived at the airport at 6 this morning and was subjected to the most ridiculous security check imaginable. I had to lie through my teeth about staying in Palestine or they wouldn't have let me on board. They emptied and searched both my bags five times. They interrogated me on anything resembling Arabic writing. They looked through all my photos and asked me a hundred times was I interested in Palestine. They put me in a little room for half an hour then performed a body search that left me violated. They almost had me convinced that I was a terrorist.

Security- 'Do you understand why we have to check you?'
Me- 'Eh the same reason as the last four times'
Security- 'Are you interested in Palestine?'
Me (into myself)- 'I'm interested in smashing your face into the desk so your nose is spread right round to your ears, then I'll pebble dash the back of your throat with your teeth.

To make matters worse the flight was so late I missed my connection so I'm now stuck in London, tired and emotional, with nothing better to do than have a good moan on my blog.


Jen said...

moan away! your problems seem just a tad worse than mine at the mo (a wasp's nest in my shed). Were you not terrified? The devil never likes us doing any good does he?

Niall Nixon said...

haha you do look a bit dodgy mate...sounds like you had an amazing time..its been good keeping up with it on the blog

Anonymous said...

and of course mossad don't have net access to read what you've been up to lately!

from your pic, you might attract the roving eye of the el al staff!

Atleast you left Israel with a positive impression of their ability to oppress. said...

harsh mate, ive been reading along your travels and that entry by far has put me off doin anything like that for life! :(

have been prayin for you though

and eh, were his hands warm at least? :\

Nickman said...

In a sick way I find this quite amusing, but what else do you expect from sick guy as myself. Perhaps in a weird way you enjoyed getting searched?Possibly? Anyways it will make a good story to tell the grand kids about!! Look forward to hearing all about your stories john boy..glad your home (almost home) safe..see you on Sunday no doubt

Nick (your no.1 cell goer)

Brian said...

don't let take the joy out of all you've learnt and seen man. Your bro is doing fine, he thinks he can do my accent!!! he's not a very deep chap is he?

The Wee Italian Chick said...

Awwwww, John!!!! That's just not on!!! A friend of mine had the same treatment (a big pair of rubber gloves and two menacing looking huge black men) in Colombia..not nice!When something similar happened to me not only did I moan, I crashed onto a main street in London and weeped like a baby!!! MOAN AWAY!!!!

Anonymous said...

Welcome Home :-)

(I'm guessing you will be by the time you read this)

Joanna Boone said...

aww John that sounds horrible! But its over now and hopefully u might even be able to have a good old giggle about it :)
Joanna B